I am getting really tired of feeling like I don't know what to think! Does that make sense? Well, it should! I am completely insane, after all!
It goes a little something like this...my cousin, on my dad's side, decided that life was not working out for him, so he gave up. He ended his life. I don't know how else to say it.
The tragic side of this is that he was the father of one girl, with a first wife and the father of 4 boys with the second. I am really lost at the thought of all of these kids living with out their dad, but better yet, two of them are old enough to know what happened and why he is gone. It is very painful.
Children take everything to heart, so what message will this convey?
Don't get me wrong, I am sorry that he is gone. Judging from the visitation, there are many who are already missing him. I know I will be very sad every time I see the little boys, who all seem to look so much like their daddy, because they will be yet another reminder of him.
I feel for his siblings. I feel very sad for his brother, who was so lost and sad without him. His sisters were a few years older than him, but that doesn't mean that they don't feel the sting of his death. And, what about his many nieces and nephews? How will family functions work? The little ones who won't understand, but will ask about him anyway...what a shame.
And, if you are in the position where you think your life is not worth it, by all means, ask someone who loves you! Give them a chance to change your mind, before you do something drastic! PLEASE!
Life is precious, handle with care!
Live life like you won't get much more time.
Love deeply and truly, even if it isn't always perfect!
Rest in peace, Jack! May God have mercy on your soul!
Love,
Me
