Birthday Parties Are Fun!

Birthday parties are fun, right? Sure. Why wouldn't they be, unless you are as anxiety stricken as I am! I don't even invite many others, because every fiber of my being warns against it! Let's just say that I know better! My fragile psyche can not take it!

So, the details of the double b-day party, for Bake-our now 6 year old son and Ponch-our now 9 year old daughter which are technically our two middle children by birth right and otherwise(!), from Saturday should not come as such a surprise to you, since you have been warned of my Birthday Party Syndrome.

(I was emailing this blubbering mess of crap to a friend and thought I would just pass it on, but as I went through I saw lots of missing links, so you get the new and improved, but still all true life events, I assure you! I don't know how anyone could mentally create the stuff that goes on in my world! These events may be shocking and or unsuitable for younger readers! Not really, but you never know!)

It was fine, but the unfortunate thing is that birthday parties stress me out terribly! First off, I thought we were going to be late, which would really be bad. I knew my friend K would be because her little girl R was sleeping. She had made a comment earlier in the afternoon that if she woke R up, we would see a drunk K at the party, so it was a given that she would be late! Anyway, my sister somehow got the time wrong (and had two of our brothers, another little girl, and Big T)and did not get there til 6 when we said 5 and had all the kids there at 5 so I was thinking that the kids would be a disaster by the time we got the party going, but most of them were ok. On the other hand, Boog decided to miss a step and do a face plant, so she had the beginnings of a Unicorn horn a little off to the side of her forehead! Bad news!!!

I had to run and get Z and his buddy, the boy who lost his dad this week, which is the only reason a friend of Z's got to come to the other kid's party, and grandma, so it was almost 5:30 when I got there. The kids made the best of it by playing pool and just running the place!

I was starving and ready to eat one of the kids by the time we got to the food part! I had two cupcakes without a second thought as to whether there was enough for anyone else to have more or anything! Knee jerk reaction to being hungry!!!! I did not even care if the kids got to open presents as long as I could have food and to prove that, I made S, my husband, take the pics!!!!!!!

We started bowling and I got 3 frames into it by the time Meeeeema exploded poop everywhere, which also happened to be the exact time I was on the phone with Pizza Hut. I was trying to get our order in, so we could eat sooner, rather than later! Again, HUNGRY! I think being nervous makes my blood sugar drop like it does for a diabetic, honestly. Anyway, back to the poop sensation the swept all over my arm and Meeeeema's clothes! GROSS! I am sooooooo extremely sick of being shit on that there are no good words to explain it, so just know that in an archaic, but quaint (ha) little bowling alley, I was never happier to be one of the two groups of people to be there! We needed our own extra lane for poop changing!

By the time we got the pizza it was 7:30 and I had taken grandma home while I was out getting it. I can say that I did not eat straight out of the box while I drove, but only because I had it in the seat behind me! I only bowled 3 frames, because I had to feed Meeeeema, my GIANT newborn, before I went to get the pizza. I stood and ate pizza as soon as I could get some in my mouth, making myself look like a starved orphan or something, but that is just about the way I was feeling, so I guess it worked out just fine! Somehow, in between scarfing down food, I managed to dish something out for all the kids, who were probably just as hungry as I was, almost. You should always think of the children first, unless you are pretty damned sure that you might be hungrier than they are!

As you can tell, birthday parties are always a treat in my family! What I really wanted was a drink and although I could have gotten by with it, I did not have one. I could really have used some sort of anti-anxiety something right about then, but, well, Hell, I don't know! I survived, as did the rest of the family, so I guess it was O K !