9 stockings!

That's right, 9 stockings! It seems crazy to think that not one more stocking will fit on our fire place! There is just no room! I think we felt like we were running out of room when we had to add # 8, but # 9 really just takes the cake!

All in all, our 9 stocking'd family had a nice day yesterday! We manage to get all of the getting together taken care of on Christmas Eve, so there is plenty of time on Christmas day for our children to enjoy their new toys. I like it that way.

I hope everyone enjoyed a healthy, happy, blessed, eventful, stressful, fun, wonderful, irritating family Christmas just like we did!

Whew, Where Did the Month Go? Oh, and How Did that Branch Get on in My Roof!?!?

Man, I have been either busy or lost most of the month! First, my family was hit with serious stomach flu! Then, we just had too much of everything to catch up on like my Christmas projects and house work, to do too much blogging! Now, we have had no power a few days out of the last 4 or so and on top of that we had a tree branch poke a hole in our roof!

More about that!!!

I was not pleased to be jerked awake by the sound of a tree branch, several by the end of the night, hitting the roof right above my bedroom! I jumped out of bed and grabbed the two littlest in the family and headed for the livingroom. After getting some sense about me, I went back for my husband and told him he really needed to come out there with us. I am serious about just how scary that was! It was soooo awful! I pulled the love seat into the middle of the room and he laid on that, while I positioned myself for the least amount of discomfort in the chair! Then, I decided that I did not really want my kids in the bedrooms that they sleep in either, because of the big trees around them! Well, I woke them all up, which did not go so well, and then I pulled the couch into the center of the room too, because the living room is right off of my bedroom, so limbs falling over my room could hit the living room too--and did! After more than three miserable hours of NO SLEEP, I finally decided to give up and try and get some rest. My long needed sleep lasted an hour and then I got right back up again, because I just could not sleep in that chair! Especially not with the baby in my arms! About 45 minutes to an hour after I got up, the power went out and was out all day, until almost dark! I was not pleased, but it was not terrible, because we have giant windows in our living room, therefore having plenty of light, until night fall, which was almost upon us when the power FINALLY came back on!

I have never breathed a bigger breath of relief!

Until, my husband begrudgingly climbed atop the roof and found the softball sized hole in our roof! He became the crabbiest man alive at that very moment! I immediately got on the cell phone, of course we have modem phone, so we did not have our phone to use either, with our insurance company. The adjuster was at the house assessing damage before our power was even back on! I was impressed! He was very nice and hopefully will have some sort of good news for us! Of course, that side of our roof is the side that did not need to be replaced! HA! Not much luck with things like that!!!!!

Ok, done rambling!

Just know that if you have not talked to me, I am neck deep in baking, projecting, and crocheting and we have a family Christmas tomorrow!

Have and blessed and wonderful Christmas!

I Made Fudge Today And...

I made fudge today and it did not turn out looking like a big puddle of baby poop!

Yippee!

Mommy wins!

Mark one for the Mom-O!!!

Random Acts of Kindness

I know, I know, too much posting, but I have an idea...

Year after year, we go forth with little thought about how things work and how the small things come to be.

For example:

An older couple from our church always sends birthday cards to our family, which leads me to believe that they are sending cards to everyone on the church list, as they happen. I always wonder how people on such a fixed income can afford the simple stamps to send the cards, let alone the cards to send to everyone! I think every year that I should send her some stamps anonymously. I think I will really try to accomplish that this year. (Our budget is really rather fixed too, so it is not as easy as it sounds!) I am not telling you this so you will think I am sooooo great or even good for that matter. What I am trying to achieve is a challenge.

I want to challenge all of the people who read this to doing a simple kindness to someone who could use a kind word, gesture, or something else. You will know it when you see it. As I said, we don't have money, so I don't just walk around giving money to people, but I have tried to make a few dollars stretch by making something to help someone out, when they would not normally get a Christmas gift, or for whatever reason. I have simply given someone my cart at Aldi's without taking their quarter, for the cart lock. I know it is very small, but the simplest things can really make someone think! I know that all of you, my friends, are good people and you can really make a difference in someone's life by doing the smallest things, so let's get out there and do it!

(Around Christmas pretty much every year since we took on our first "extra" child, people have been showing us kindnesses in one way or another and we VERY TRULY appreciate it! You never know who could really use your children's old clothes or shoes, or the coat that you can no longer wear. There are so many things that we can do to help others that we just don't always think about. Let's have a giving Christmas starting with the simple things!)

Childhood Memories!

The other night when Meeeeema puked all over my bed, I had to search the world over for a sheet and pillow cases to outfit my bed with. The beautiful thing about that is we don't have extras of our sheets. Well, we do, but when we got our new bed set, my dear husband decided to throw the old set up in the attic! Great, right!?! Anyway, I came across some kid's sheets that my mom had given me a long time ago and in the mix was my pillow case from when I was a little girl.

I can not begin to describe the flood emotions that came with that old pillow case. I immediately found myself trying to fight back tears. I was unable to win that battle! Ponch, who happened to come in on my meltdown, asked why I was crying. I told her that I was really sad, because this simple pillow case meant so much more to me than she could understand. It was a time when my mom was not sick. She was alive and well and the meanest mom alive, of course! A title which I proudly hold today!

I miss my mom terribly! When you are a little girl, you never think about your mom dying, although, my kids do, because of my mom's death. I feel like they have been cheated of their innocense in that respect! It makes me sad! Some days, everything makes me sad! Not freak out and lose it sad, for the most part, but just plain sad!

And, when we left the "freshly" made bed, with sheets that had not been washed in atleast 18 months, since mom has been gone for more than a year and gave them to me while in good enough health to do so, Ponch looked up at me with her arms around my waist and asked me if she could have my pillow case when I die!

She gets it!

She really gets what that pillow case means to me and wants to have it in her life after I die.

I told her, "sure," of course!

The damned thing is 25 or so years old now and I plan on staying around 'til God decides otherwise, so why shouldn't she have it! IT WILL LAST THAT LONG!

Good Luck Today, Snot Face!

To my sister who has today to cram in a few finals for school, I want to say


Good Luck!

SICK, SICK, SICK!

Well, it was bound to happen, but I prayed it would not! My whole f'ing household got sick! 7 of the 9 to be exact! And, that is not to say that the other 2 will not fall soon too! N got sick Friday and we thought he must have been coughing until he threw up, but he did it again Saturday night. Sunday he laid around a lot of the day and we knew he must have come down with something. Sunday evening Meeeeema started throwing up. Yep, the baby! The baby is still throwing up as of last night too! It really has been a beautiful day in our neighborhood! Sunday B started throwing up too, which is just great, since he does not know how to make it to the toilet when he is sick! That is the best thing ever! Boog has only had a headache since Monday, which is a blessing, I guess. A 2 year old loose and puking through the house would not be too much fun to deal with! S and I both got sick on Monday! Severe butt explosions around the house! What a great week!!! As for me, the butt explosions that I thought were on the way out seem to have returned! LUCKY ME!

I hope you all are having a wonderful, magical, sickness free week!

Sorry that the entire entry is TMI, but I figured some of you might think I was dead if I did not post something soon!

Mom's Birthday!

Today is mom's birthday and as you all know we lost mom on Sept. 19th, 2007. I am sad to have lost her. I can never say that enough, but I am excited to be going out with her loved ones and friends to celebrate the anniversary of her first day of life! I want to try and keep this as a tradition from year to year!

We are going to enjoy a night of friendship, love, laughter and fun!

I am ready!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am thankful for another day with my family!

I am afraid that I may be so stressed out that I could puke by the time they leave today, but I am thankful all the same!

I hope you have a great day with your families as well!

I will be waiting to hear the stories!!!

sick to death!

Well, I started my day off well. Ha! I woke up at 5 freakin' 30 and knew that going back to sleep would be impossible, so I just got out of bed and made my way to the chai tea. Yep, I said chai tea! It is essential! I would not have a good morning without my one vice!

Anyway,

I got the kids up and they started getting ready for school. I guess I should mention that last week on Monday Z was sick with stomach flu or something. I did not mention it, because I believe he gets psychological flu! You have to know him to understand. It is like, I don't want to take the test flu. Or, I made the teacher mad on Friday flu. Stuff like that! And, on Tuesday, N, was sick with pink eyes, but not pink eye! I kept him home, because his eyes were not white and I knew the school would have a stroke if I tried to send him. Anyway, he went to the dr. Before we got out of there, Boog was diagnosed with a double ear infection and N was given a clean bill of health! Ha! Yep, totally sucks to be most days! Yet another reason for the chai tea! Did I mention that I have been crocheting and have done very little cleaning today? Did I mention that the dishes are taunting me and I have to sweep and put laundry away, along with needing to wash and dry another 2 loads before everyone else gets home in roughly 20 minutes?

Ok, back on track...

We left off at getting the kids ready for school...

I should have known something was wrong, because Ponch, otherwise known as A, was not her usual perky self. Anyway, I also noticed that B had pink eyes. I knew that he probably got that from N, but the school would not be pleased if I sent him with out the dr.'s approval, so I called the school to report his absence. As I am hanging up the phone, I hear water running in Ponch's bedroom. That makes no sense, since there is no running water in her room, so I look in and see her throwing up water! UGH! She was less than pleased!

I made appts. for both of them, so the dr. could tell me that nothing was wrong with either one of them and we could go on about our business. WRONG! A, Ponch, has walking pneumonia! B, however, is clear!

What I hope to learn from this is what the hell is going on with my kids? None of them have seemed overly sick! A has had a cough for a week or so. No big deal. A cold can last a while. I really thought that was true. The coughing so hard this morning made me think otherwise and the puking made me think of my freshman year when I had walking pneumonia, but I did not expect that to be her diagnosis! I feel like a JERK for always thinking the ones who seem fine are fine and the ones I think are sick are never sick! WHATEVER!!!

Have a FABULOUS DAY! And, keep your kids away from my world! They don't deserve it!!! Noone deserves to be sick like this!

The Meeeeema Monster!

Oh no, the Meeeeema Monster is going to eat the village!

Uh oh, she has turned her sights on the momma!

Aaaagh, she got me! She got me!

Poop Potty Girl!

Ok, I have not been at liberty to mention that my little Booga Brat has been using the potty for about three weeks now, because I was afraid of jinxing her progress. But, I am now at liberty to tell you, because she has turned into Poop Potty Girl! That's right! The little snot has gone from pooping in her sleep, because she flat refuses to use the potty to being a really super big girl who poops on the potty! Or, she has done it twice anyway! I am calling it serious progress! Granted she tells me she has to poop atleast a half a dozen times before she actually does it, but she is still learning.

The only question?

How do you say "Big Girl(!)" and "WooHoo(!)" and "Yippee(!)" with your shirt over your nose?

Hell, I even managed not to throw up as I discarded one of her proudest moments!

That's right! I'm a good momma!

I Did It! I Did It!

Woooo Hooooo! I am excited! I have not done this for almost 20 years!


Ok, so maybe this black scarf with a red racing stripe does not look like much to the artful crocheting mind, but I did it! My grandma suggested double crochet, since my single looks like I am tying knots! Everything I did by way of single crochet was sooooo tight that half way through whatever I happened to be attempting I would have to stop and start anew! Bad news! But, once I got to know the double crochet, I actually made a full fledged scarf! And the kicker is that my 11 year old SON wanted it to be his! He told be when I began crocheting a few weeks ago that he would probably never wear a scarf, so I should basically count him out. I was a little sad, but I did not say anything. I guess I just thought it would be one more that I could donate to a good cause. That was my whole intention. I would crochet scarf after scarf and donate them. No such luck! Did I mention that I have a million kids? Well, my sister made one for one of the kids, but the rest of them seem to be attaching themselves to the things I am making, so I have no donation scarves thus far, but if I am quick and keep making them as fast as my fingers will go, I may just be able to donate a few!?!?

8 things

8 TV shows I watch (mostly on hulu or dvd):

I do not watch much tv, so this is beyond me. I guess we could use old favorites for the sake of playing the game.

1. Tom and Jerry
2. Roseanne
3. Fresh Prince (goofy, huh?)
4. The Flintstones
5. The Jetsons
6. The Smurfs
7. Little House on the Prairie
8. The Cosby Show

8 of My Favorite Restaurants (we don’t eat out much, close to never):

1. Subway-carry out
2. Pizza Hut-carry out
3. Monical's Pizza-carry out
4. Fazoli's-before groceries with the girls (never happens any more)
5. Cheddar's (never happens any more either!)

8 Things that happened Yesterday

1. dishes
2. made a really neat necklace!
3. laundry
4. walked with my sister
5. took g-ma to an appt.
6. swept floors
7. went to grocery store
8. finished my book

8 Things I am looking forward to:

1. Meeeeema being big enough to be done nursing!
2. Watching some goofy fight with my friends tomorrow!
3. Time with family!
4. My siblings reactions to the gifts I am creating for them for Christmas!
5. Getting my Sunday school kids through the hand sewing of the pillows we are creating for their loved ones! We started two weeks ago and are slowly but surely making head way!
6. Feeling the accomplishment of finally getting a scarf to turn out the way it should, rather than being bound up sooooo tightly!
7. Getting Boog fully potty trained.
8. Seeing my family grow into adulthood, something my mother never got to experience.

8 things on my wishlist:

1. Marcia, much like you would like a cure for systemic sclerosis, I would like to see the cure for cancer, so that I don't ever have to lose anyone else in the same manner.
2. All projects around my house to be complete!
3. guiltless chocolate
4. people to realize what they have before they lose it
5. the kids to love each other visibly and not just in theory!
6. peace of mind
7. a few less worries (same thing as 6? I don't know? Maybe!)
8. vacation to ANYWHERE with my family! and enough extra hands to help us all enjoy it!

8 Things I love:

1. My children, all 032984023984 of them!
2. My husband, yep, I am admitting to it just this once!
3. My siblings
4. My grandma!
5. having a many good friends who will allow my crazy to invade their lives!
6. vanilla chai
7. spiced chai
8. pumpkin spiced chai

8 things I can't stand:

1. lying
2. bickering
3. DOG HAIR
4. redoing the same thing over and over each day! Why can't the dishes just stay done?!?
5. doing the budget!
6. allergies and sinus problems!
7. not being able to help someone who is sad
8. feeling like there is never enough time!

8 People I am tagging:

You be the judge of this...

If you want to share, send me a comment telling me where to look and I will!

I'll Be Damned If I Am Not Sad Again!

The question that was asked by my son, Z, and relayed to me by another parent, is this, "Why are so many people dying right now?" I am devastated! I don't know how to answer this. I dont' want to convey the wrong message. I do not spend my days curled up in a ball. I am just hurt by not being more able to help with his pain. So, I do the best I can by offering a little time alone. I go to my room a little early every so often and most of the time he follows me to bed. We talk about things. I try to listen without talking too much--very difficult for me, as you all well know. I want him not to be afraid. I am a little too afraid of many different things. I want him to feel secure. I tell myself fear is an emotion that parents display, because they want to keep their children safe. I know my fear is probably more than that. It comes from too much death and wondering when and where it might strike again. I am sad. Very sad.

This morning, before we could do much of anything, my husband, who is on his way to work, hollars back in the door that their is an ambulance at the 95, almost 96, year old neighbors house. She maybe be old, by year, but she is cool as hell! Yes, I know, I don't say things like that, but if you knew her...

At any rate, Z promptly put his coat and shoes on and went to the side of the house closest to the neighbors house and waited. He watched. He was intent on knowing whether she was or was not ok before he could move. Move at all. I did not know what to do, so I waited as well. I watched from time to time until I saw the stretcher come out with her in it and alive. I know that sounds crass, but the lights and whistles never did sound, as far as the amublance is concerned, so I was worried. My son brought that to my attention. I was in the kitchen telling the other kids that Mrs. F. has lived a long life and she is ready to go when God calls her, so to speak. I mean, noone wants to die, but noone really wants to start outliving their children either. The mere thought is upseting to me. I would miss her greatly, but she has had a long, wonderful life! She is a very interesting lady and I can talk to her as I talk to any of you! I would sorely miss that. Still, I am ok with her passing when the time comes.

I am getting off track, but what is new about this? NOTHING, I say! Anyway, I am worried about my son, so I call the school and talk to the counselor. She makes me feel a little better. I tell her his question to another mother and she says there will be pastors and/or priests available to all of the p.e. classes today, so that they can help with the grief and loss of the two girls who died this week and just to field questions that might arise. I asked her to prompt someone to bring up the particular question, so he and his friend, who happened to have the same question, will know that they are not alone and may even find some comfort in an answer, that I am unable to provide.

Sorry for the jumble of stress, but this is an extension of my being and by default it encompasses all of my crazy!

Scary, huh?

I got an email from a friend expressing her inherent joy, because I had not complained about being pooped on as much as I did the day before, or something like that anyway and I am sharing my response, to her, with you, because I am making myself laugh by simply recounting my experience from a few days ago.

Hey, now that you mention it, I did not get pooped up to anywhere yesteday. Although, she pooped a lot! And, since we weren't soaking any baby clothes in the oversized pink bowl, my husband haaaaad to bump A's arm and she haaaaad to spill Power Ade all over her clothes. God forbid that bowl be empty for even one day! That might feel like too much of any accomplishment for me!

Did I tell you that the day before Boog pooped in her shower ring? Yes, she is two and still uses it. She is so tiny that she slides around and freaks out, because she is scared, so it works. Anyway, I run shower water for her and put Meeeeema in her little tub and then they "take a bath" together. That works fine. Fine until someone poops in the tub! Someone happens to be Boog and the poop happened to be green and blue again??? Who knows! I swear she has been eating Play-Doh! What other explanation is there? Honestly? UGH! I had answered the phone and them put them in the shower and was trying to talk and wash Meeeeema's hair, since she is not under the running water, when I saw the bright blue and green poop peaking out of her ring! OMG, I thought I would surely die! How gross is this, really!?!? I shut the shower off. I picked the poop up with soggy toilet paper. I got off the phone and then I let her have it! "DON'T EVER POOP IN THE SHOWER!" She did not seem shaken at all. She just responded, "Poop potty!"

"Gee, great, you get it, so why the hell don't you do it?"

I am not sure that I can potty train another one! Meeeeema will be 10 wearing the biggest pull-ups I can find, which I reverted to with Boog, because if she has underwear on, I can't let her wear pants. For some reason, she thinks it is ok to pee in her underwear if she has pants on, but not if I leave her pants off. Well, guess what? It is cold in here, so she wants pants. Without the pants, her lips turn purple. NO JOKE! So, I put her in pull-ups and tell her they are underwear, which is extremely confusing when I want her to throw the wet ones away! And then she can wear her pants and have red lips. I think it is win-win for everyone!

Where was the "Potty Training For Dummies" when I needed it most? Or maybe, I need it now?

What day is it?

Pain, Tragedy, Suffering - Mother's Strife Hits Small Town USA Yet Again!

Well, much to my dismay, it has happened again, although this time it is more heart breaking than the last, not that I have any room to judge one person's sorrow over that of another. I am speaking in terms of age only here. A mother loses her child again. Let me try and explain this without putting information in that is not my place to disclose.

An 8th grade girl has a friend stay the night with her. I know, I know, its a week night, right? But, for us, it is a holiday. Veteran's day is observed here with a day off of school. Anyway, the friends are going to have a girl's night of whatever sort, because they don't have to go to school! Great idea, right? It should have been until the early morning hours when the boiler system in the basement had some sort of malfunction and a fire started. The two girls happened to be sleeping in the basement, from what I understand.

From here I can only imagine a mother's terror and pain. (I am getting to be way to good at putting myself in the shoes of horror and sorrow. I think it is becoming a sickness. I am sure Bake's counselor would agree!) I understand that the girl's mother tried desperately to free her child and the child's friend, but to no avail.

Today is the first day after the accident.

In my mind, this is what hell must be like.

Pain.

Sorrow.

Suffering.

Loss.

Terror.

And, yet, you have to wake up and face it every morning, until your life is over.

Mom's know that with love comes pain and heart ache, but this is more than any parent should ever have to know.

My family has faced a lot of pain and heart ache, yet this is my greatest fear and in two weeks time, I have seen two mother's in our small community, on much different levels with different circumstances, go through the very same loss. My heart goes out to them. I wish I could take the pain away. We were by no means close friends, but I have known this particular mother since I was 9, or maybe longer.

I am so sorry for her loss and the loss felt by the rest of her family.

Too Big For Her Britches!

My little, big, silly, stressful, sweet, loving, aggravating, wonderful baby girl thinks she is a little bigger than mommy would like! She keeps standing up to things like this is all part of a bigger plan, but I just keep thinking, "Noooooooo!" and "SIT BACK DOWN!" Or maybe even, "I am NOT ready for this yet!"

I Know This Is Wrong, I Know This Sounds Bad, But...

I just fed my sweetest baby girl and it so happens that I am a boob feeder, so that what makes this particular gesture of unselfish love just plain gross!

I just finished feeding Meeeeema and I propped her back upright, so she could burp and possibly fall asleep (please, oh please) on my shoulder, when she decided that the best thing she could do at that very moment would be to give momma a million milky, yucky, kisses! Being the loving mother that I am, I tried to dodge her, but an unrelently 10 month old just repositioned herself and got the million milky kisses that she so desired! I love kisses and all, but, well, um, oh, you know, NASTY!

YUCKY BUTT BABY ANYWAY!!!

To Be, Or Not To Be!?!

So, do I keep my hair free house, or let this little bundle of joy and hair all mixed together forever invade my heart and space? That truly is the question!

My son came home yesterday and said something about the fact that I mentioned getting a puppy for Stafa, our aging Rott, to train, so that we would a new dog trained by our current good friend. He knew he had a good in with that angle and some kid a few blocks away had told them that they were going to take this puppy to the pound. She was kept outside and was getting in trouble for barking all the time. I am guessing that neighbors were tired of it, because I can't imagine why else someone would get rid of her. I told him to go ask if he could bring her home for us to take a look at. We could have gone down to the house, but there are way more of us and only one dog, so it was the best way I could think of for almost all of us to get a look at her at one time.

A smiling Z brought the stinky, but very sweet-faced dog home just a short while later. We decided that we could just not afford to keep her and probably would not want to live with all the hair in the house, as we have done so often before, and then, S, my husband, decided that we should give it a try, so he had to hunt a crushed and broken Z down and tell him that we had changed our minds! Everything after that has been a blur! Z gave her a much needed and very disasterous bath and brought her out to meet everyone formally. She peed in the floor a few times, which drives me crazy! Z and I ran to Wal-Mart for a few necessary dog supplies. After that, she nestled into bed with some of the kids and watched TV and then proceeded to sleep with them all night long! Oh, have I not mentioned that I have chicken kids who all pile into one double bed and sleep together? 3 of them sleep in that bed every night! Now 4, I guess.

Dog hair in Meeeeema's mouth and butt crack are my biggest concern, not to mention in anything that we might make from here til forever! I can't stand hair, but I think that a true companion for all of our kids for years to come might be worth more than my stressing over dog hair, don't you?

Birthday Parties Are Fun!

Birthday parties are fun, right? Sure. Why wouldn't they be, unless you are as anxiety stricken as I am! I don't even invite many others, because every fiber of my being warns against it! Let's just say that I know better! My fragile psyche can not take it!

So, the details of the double b-day party, for Bake-our now 6 year old son and Ponch-our now 9 year old daughter which are technically our two middle children by birth right and otherwise(!), from Saturday should not come as such a surprise to you, since you have been warned of my Birthday Party Syndrome.

(I was emailing this blubbering mess of crap to a friend and thought I would just pass it on, but as I went through I saw lots of missing links, so you get the new and improved, but still all true life events, I assure you! I don't know how anyone could mentally create the stuff that goes on in my world! These events may be shocking and or unsuitable for younger readers! Not really, but you never know!)

It was fine, but the unfortunate thing is that birthday parties stress me out terribly! First off, I thought we were going to be late, which would really be bad. I knew my friend K would be because her little girl R was sleeping. She had made a comment earlier in the afternoon that if she woke R up, we would see a drunk K at the party, so it was a given that she would be late! Anyway, my sister somehow got the time wrong (and had two of our brothers, another little girl, and Big T)and did not get there til 6 when we said 5 and had all the kids there at 5 so I was thinking that the kids would be a disaster by the time we got the party going, but most of them were ok. On the other hand, Boog decided to miss a step and do a face plant, so she had the beginnings of a Unicorn horn a little off to the side of her forehead! Bad news!!!

I had to run and get Z and his buddy, the boy who lost his dad this week, which is the only reason a friend of Z's got to come to the other kid's party, and grandma, so it was almost 5:30 when I got there. The kids made the best of it by playing pool and just running the place!

I was starving and ready to eat one of the kids by the time we got to the food part! I had two cupcakes without a second thought as to whether there was enough for anyone else to have more or anything! Knee jerk reaction to being hungry!!!! I did not even care if the kids got to open presents as long as I could have food and to prove that, I made S, my husband, take the pics!!!!!!!

We started bowling and I got 3 frames into it by the time Meeeeema exploded poop everywhere, which also happened to be the exact time I was on the phone with Pizza Hut. I was trying to get our order in, so we could eat sooner, rather than later! Again, HUNGRY! I think being nervous makes my blood sugar drop like it does for a diabetic, honestly. Anyway, back to the poop sensation the swept all over my arm and Meeeeema's clothes! GROSS! I am sooooooo extremely sick of being shit on that there are no good words to explain it, so just know that in an archaic, but quaint (ha) little bowling alley, I was never happier to be one of the two groups of people to be there! We needed our own extra lane for poop changing!

By the time we got the pizza it was 7:30 and I had taken grandma home while I was out getting it. I can say that I did not eat straight out of the box while I drove, but only because I had it in the seat behind me! I only bowled 3 frames, because I had to feed Meeeeema, my GIANT newborn, before I went to get the pizza. I stood and ate pizza as soon as I could get some in my mouth, making myself look like a starved orphan or something, but that is just about the way I was feeling, so I guess it worked out just fine! Somehow, in between scarfing down food, I managed to dish something out for all the kids, who were probably just as hungry as I was, almost. You should always think of the children first, unless you are pretty damned sure that you might be hungrier than they are!

As you can tell, birthday parties are always a treat in my family! What I really wanted was a drink and although I could have gotten by with it, I did not have one. I could really have used some sort of anti-anxiety something right about then, but, well, Hell, I don't know! I survived, as did the rest of the family, so I guess it was O K !

Feeling The Pain!

He is gone.

I spoke to his mother today.

He died yesterday.

Tragic!

Sorrowful!

Just plain sad!

Now, I have to tell my kid and prepare myself for a funeral that is too painful for words! I have not done this since my mother's death and I really don't want to go through all of those feelings again, but I don't really have a choice! I would never keep my support from the family, but I am really having a hard time dealing with the way I feel!

A kid needs a dad, even if only to be able to tell him later that he was not there for him. This may sound ridiculous, but my dad was not there for me and when I got older I was able to decide to reconcile a little and I was able to try and salvage a little bit of a relationship. I did not get left with only the feelings of not being enough to keep my dad at home and not being good enough for him to want to stay with us. I know this is not true, or my fault, but I am speaking from my childhood feelings. Anyway, this boy will have no time to ask questions or try and mend relationships. I can't stand it! I hate this for him! I am taking on the pain and I know that is crazy, but the things I did get a chance to deal with are closing in around me in sympathy for him!!!

Rest assured, I will always give all of my readers the feeling that they are completely sane, when they read my posts!

Poop!

I JUST GOT POOPED ON AGAIN!!!

Prayer Request

I don't fee like it is my day! I can not get into my email to put this out that way and now this site won't even let me through.

At any rate, I know a family who is having a lot of trouble with an older child and that child's problems. If you pray, please pray that he will make it through his troubles and quickly, before it ends his life! I hate to hear a mother cry and to know that there is nothing she can do unless her child decides to help himself is even worse. Please also pray that he will come out of this mess knowing that he does not want to live/die like this.

Thanks for your help!

Jamie

You Need A Band Aid Mom?

Ok, this totally fits into TMI(Too Much Information), but I have decided that almost everyone can handle what I have to say, so TDB(Too Damned Bad)!

Let's just say that I started this morning. I am a baby feeder, so that starting thing seems to have a mind of its own lately! Anyway, I was working with a winged object from Wendi Aaron's favorite distributor when Boog looked up at me with her best, I totally get what you're saying face and said, "Mom, you need a band aid?"

WTF!?! Are you serious??? I almost died, but I did my best, are you f'ing kidding me face and said, "Yes Boog, Mommy needs a band aid!"




Please tell me why it always happens to me??? Please??? Some insight needed here!

My New Invention!

Ok, so I guess I just need to tell the world about the great new kitchen floor cleaning program that I just invented. I know I should wait for a patent, but I am so excited that I just have to share.

First, I took one green tea scented baby wipe and put it under my left foot and then I repeated the process with my right foot. I waltzed my way around my kitchen floor, without picking up my feet, of course.

I named that step the deep cleaning phase of my two step process.

Second, I took one lemon scented bleach wipe and put it under my right foot, so as to keep myself from becoming bored, and then I repeated this process with my left foot.

I consider this to be the sanitizing step and consequently my final step!

Isn't it great??? I am so excited. I know I said I was waiting for approval from the patenting office, but since we are all friends, I will personally allow all of you to use this technique too!!!

Happy cleaning Ladies!

Deliciously Steamy Chai For Me

Man, can you see that steam rising from my perfectly hot and wonderful cup of vanilla chai tea?

Jealous, you say?

Too damned bad for you, 'cause it is all for me!

Maybe one, maybe two and maybe even three cups a day and it is allllllllll for me!!!

Hehe!!!

Oh, don't cry!

I am sure someone will bring you a cup, but rest assured that it won't be me!

My Pictures of Fall!

These are pictures that I took just a few hours ago, when a friend, K, and I went for a little "road trip" in a very rural area. We spent a few hours just drifting around and we hit a few cemetaries. One of which was very small and the stones were almost all quite old. The cemetary was just nestled in among the fields. Of course, the extreme winds and a full bladder brought us home a little sooner than we had hoped, but we still had a good time!

Oh, and the pic. of the headstone...

I took that picture, because I think it is beautiful and I did not feel that it was really disrespecting anyone's rights or otherwise, because it is so old and hard to read.

I guess I should also mention my love of cemetaries! I absolutely love going to the cemetary! My school had a visit to the local cemetary, for grave rubbings, when I was somewhere between 8 and 10 and I have been intrigued with them since then! Granted, I don't do anything creepy like drinking blood or spinning my head all the way around, unless truly provoked! I just love cemetaries! There is a lot of perspective in knowing some people only get to have their children for a day, or even less and you (I) have been lucky enough to have mine much longer than that. I think it makes me thankful for the time we do have here, no matter how crappy the day might seem. I am making a difference every day that I am here, even if only in small ways. I appreciate that.

Sorry for the babble! You know me!

A friend brought to my attention that I have been quiet lately, so LOOK OUT LADIES, here I come! Back on the scene with a fresh dose of "what the hell was that?!?"

The scene begins with two little bitty girls in the shower. One takes a bath in her baby bath tub, because it fills up with water and she can sit in it like a big girl and the other little big girl sits in her tub ring and takes a shower. Mommy is a freak, so they are taking a bath together without sharing water! Got it? Ok, let's move on...

Oh, no, let's back track for just a minute.

My friend's mom J knocks right before I put the two in the shower and I spin Meeeeema around, butt out, to greet J. She made some comment about not really needing to see that so early, or something. She proceeds to come in and see my half way remodeled cabinets and we talk a little while I put the two girls in their places.

Boog plays quietly and Meeeeema freaks out, because she has been sick and is in NO MOOD for the shower! I put her in anyway, because I am hoping to loosen up some of the junk that is in her poor little head. When the shower is over for Meeeeema, I pick her up and get ready to run her into my bedroom, so I can throw and diaper on her and stick her in the car seat, while I go back and get Boog. It really is a fool proof plan. My house in no bigger than a Cracker Jack box and my bedroom is just four feet from the bathroom, so I can and do do this with no trouble all of the time. Not today though! Why the hell would things run smoothly? I was up more than not last night with a miserable baby! I am exhausted, grouchy and just plain tired of things running amuck, rather than running smoothly!!! Anyway, as soon as I get Meeeeema out, Boog starts freaking out and screaming about NOTHING! I look at J and express my concern that I might truly have to beat Boog today and on that note J says she will leave, so I can get back to that thought, after having tried to talk nicely to Boog to help calm her down, while I was putting Meeeeema's diaper on.

I ready myself to deal with the situation and make my way into the bathroom. I am pretty clear with Boog on how this is all going down. During my explanation of expectations, Boog is screaming her guts out!!! No big deal! I love my life, right? I get very tired of being tired, but today all of the big kids have dentist appts. and I have to take them, so we have to keep moving in the right direction, even if it kills us!

By the time I get Boog out of the shower and into my room for a diaper, she is calm and I don't know where her bi-polar counter part even went. Hey, it works for me!

As I dress her, I hear her say, "ow" and ask what hurts. Funny response, really.

She says, "OW, bom, you hurt by tock," through her snot filled sinuses!

I say, "how did I hurt your sock?"

Again on the other foot, she says, "ow, bom, you hurt by tock!"

Then, I go on to her shirt.

She says, "ow, bom, you hurt by tirt!"

I say, "how did I hurt your shirt?"

I guess the moral of this whole drawn out story is that the "experts" say small children can't communicate, but I say they are wrong! In the strangest, most round about way, my two year old told me that she has body aches from the dreadful cold she has been suffering from, so there! And, if that is not what she was really trying to tell me and her socks were really screaming in pain, then, well... You tell me, because I have nothing left to say!

My Mom Was Here Today And...

My mom was here today and...

What is that you ask? How could my mom be here? She died just over a year ago. No shit! All I know is that my 2 year old walked across the living room a few minutes ago and said, "Maw's here."

"What Boog," I say.

"Maw's here," she says.

"Huh? Who is here?," I say.

"Damaw," she says.

Alright! I am not into games and I know that I am crazy, so that is that, but WTF makes a 2 year old say "MAW" is here, when she was about 15 months old when she died? She knew her, but has had so little time with her that there is no real recollection, so then what? Really, what? So I call a friend, who happens to be home right now and tell her. She said that I should make sure to ask her what "Maw" is saying. I hang up and ask her and this is what I get...

"Where is Maw Boog?," I say.

"EOIURWOEIJF!," she says.

"What?," I ask.

"On her way to Champaign," she replies.

That, for those of you who did and those of you who did not know her is the place my mother always seemed to be heading to! ALWAYS! I had to ask Boog if she was channeling "Maw," because it is like she wanted to make sure I knew it really was her. So, now, any body have any thoughts on this one? I would love to hear it! I am on the brink of insanity and I am pretty sure there is no way back now!

S.O.S.!

S.O.S.!

Hello, anyone out there?

BTW, the really strange part is that I was just forwarding a bunch of pics that I had taken of the kids and had decided to send them to some relatives that I don't know, but that my mom used to talk about. I had gotten their email addresses from an email that my uncle sent out. That is precisely when Boog spoke up about "Maw" being here.

A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!

Thoughts of the Great Beyond!

I don't know how to make a separate blog, so I guess everything will go in under My Crazy Kids.

Ok, so I know this is strange and I should be doing a MILLION other things right now, but there is something I need to address! I said my mom died just over a year ago and I said I miss her dearly, but...

I have been out of the shower for about an hour now, but something strange happened in there and I need some answers!

Do we believe that our loved ones come back to "see" us from time to time? I mean, honestly, I am guessing that Heaven's gate does not go two ways, but...

When I was a kid, my mom always used to harass me about how much shampoo I used! I could sit on my hair people! Why wouldn't I use a lot of shampoo!?!?!? Anyway, I would always catch hell for using too much.

So, when the bottle of body wash literally jumped off of the shower wall today, I could only think of her! She must be saying, "Aren't you going to wash?" I found myself saying, OUT LOUD, "I WASH!" You know, there is no reason for visitors while showering, but what else am I to think? Seriously, my house is on a concrete slab. The nearest train tracks are about a block away. My pipes run through the floor and not the walls, so there is no logical explanation. Oh, did I mention the same thing happened last week? And, that I have one hell of a sore spot on my foot after that episode! Now, maybe the whole thing will turn black and fall off!!! Thanks Mom!

Momma, Tan I Tell Tapa Tuh Up?!?

Setting the scene: Boog, Meeeeema and I were in the kitchen cutting up broccoli, carrots and cucumbers for the kids to eat when they got home from school. Meeeeema was cruising around, minding her own, in the walker and Boog was crammed up my---I mean, standing right by my side, so she could get the inside scoop, better known as any cheater bites, on the veggies I was preparing. The kitchen window was open. Our dog, Stafa the big Rott., was and still is tied up to the tree just outside of the kitchen window.

Boog, "Momma, tan I tell Tapa to tuh up?"

I say,"Boog, why do you want to tell Stafa to shut up?"

Boog, "Betuz she is yel-wing!"

I say, "Stafa is yelling?"

Boog, "Yep!"

I say, "Why is Stafa yelling?"

Boog, "Eiosiure wkldjoiwe owur kj doie!"

I say, "Are you sure, Boog?"

Boog, "Yep!"

I say, "K, Boog?"


What the hell ever! I was totally following her until we got into the crazed mumbo jumbo that completely blew all the confidence that I had in my own ability to understand my little girl's language!

Just another day in paradise! Right? Tell me I am not the only one who lives in this world they call Paradise?!?!?!?

Super Heroes and Super Villains!

This is something that I emailed to my mom on August 5th, 2006. I guess I liked it, because I thought I should share it with you all!




Remember the story of the little boys who did not want anything to eat at the family reunion?

The first little boy did not want anything but chips to eat at the family reunion. This dear, sweet, little devil, only ate chips and chips and chips. When the little boy finally made it home, he was nearly asleep in his car seat. The thought of him taking a nap was truly exciting to his mother. She was almost giddy with delight, until another child mentioned taking a nap, which quickly crushed the mother's dream of a little peace and quiet. Anyway, the little boy popped awake and flung into action as the mother's arch nemesis, Screamin' Banshee Boy! Screamin' Banshee Boy, by the way, had not eaten lunch either. He proceeded to eat a brownie, yogurt, pizza, and some starbursts and, of course, more chips! After eating his fill, Screamin' Banshee Boy needed to make MEGA POOP! Lucky for the mother, she was able to use her super shirt, by pulling it over her nose, in order to shield herself from the ATOMIC STINK!!! (Go Mom!) And, the day was saved!

The other little angel, who also decided not to eat much at the family reunion, was sooooo sleepy that he asked the mother to stop the Mom Mobile, so she could put a diaper on him, because he wanted to be able to go to sleep before they ever even made it home. The mother told the little boy that she was not going to be able to put the diaper on him until they made it back to the Super Lair, because they were not far from home. He seemed content. The little boy ate a brownie and watched some TV, as soon as he made it home. He then took a much needed nap, much to the mother's liking! After his 2 hour nap, the little boy woke up. First, he went outside to play for a little while. Then, he followed the mother back into the house and proceeded to transform into Bottomless Pit Boy! The little boy, who was clearly not hungry earlier in the day, ate yogurt, peach, cherries, pizza, and a banana! What a beautiful end to a super hero's day!!! Noone was foiled, other than maybe the mother, who is thoroughly exhausted!

Just A Thought...

How is one to learn the art of resolving conflict, without first acknowledging the presence of it?

Kids For Sale!

Kids for sale! Kids for sale!

I got a whole bunch of damned rotten kids for sale!

I'm tired of hearin' 'em argue!

I'm tired of hearin' 'em fight!

I'm also tired of 'em not sleepin' at night!

I'm tired of 'em peein' on the floor!

I'm tired of 'em hittin' each other!

I'm tired of 'em whinin' nonstop!

I'm just plain tired, so that leads me back to...

Kids for sale! Kids for sale!

I got some damned old rotten kids for sale!



I don't suppose there are any takers today???

I could really use a break!



Atleast yell at me and let me know you are all having a great day!!!

One Smart Cookie!

So, today I decided to put the baby in the high chair, so I could attempt to eat at the same time that I fed her some cereal with apples in it. It sounded like a good idea at the time and then the 2 year old, Boog, woke up. I figure I can solve this problem by putting the removable part of the tray on the little table that our 2 five year olds eat at. I filled it with Froot Loops (somehow my mind cannot comprehend spelling fruit with 2 OO's in it!) and her vitamin and vitamin C and a cup of milk.

All should have been well, right? I sure thought so! My little Meeeeema and I started eating and so did Boog. Meeeeema and I finished and cleaned up. We, sadly, came to check out the computer scene, as Meeeeema was drifting off, rather fitfully I might add, to sleep. Anyway, I can easily see the table from where I sit, so I do not feel like I have anything to worry about. Until, my sweet 2 year old starts in with the occasional trip into the living room to tell me something or show me something. Of course, I started out be asking her if she was done eating, because our next step was to be the bath tub. She told me no and I told her she had better go sit down and eat. This, of course, never goes well! You just plain don't expect a 2 year old to listen, let alone follow directions. It is like setting yourself up for failure intentionally!

Anyway, the last time she came out of the kitchen, she told me she was all done. I asked her if she was really all done. Yippee, we can finally move on to phase 2 and it only took an hour to eat a cup of Froot Loops!!!! Nice try! No such luck! She looked me straight in the face and told me she was done eating her "poo oops" because a fly was in there eating them! Only in my world! She even insisted that I come and "wook" at the "buh" eating her "poo oops!"

You know, when she is driving me the most crazy it seems like she always pops up with something absolutely hilarious, or mindblowing at the very least, so I can not hold my frustration with her. That all goes back to my believing she is one smart cookie!

I know, I know, more poop!?!?!

Well, yesterday happened to be a very enlightening day, somehow...

My family had church, a birthday party and a cookout to attend. Eventhough that sounds like a lot of plans for one day, we were planning on tackling all of it, until the baby decided that she was going to function in "I hate getting teeth mode" all damned day long! So, we went to church and scratched the rest! Well, not all true, because most of the kids went to the birthday party, but, well, anyway, you get the point!

Later that afternoon...

"Poop! Poop!" I am frantic, because I just found poop in my recycling bins! "Hell no, that's not paper!" I was so grossed out and mad all at the same time. So, what do I do but sacrifice an empty paperboard box to pick the poop up with and throw them both away!

2 hours later...

"Poop! Poop! What the hell is going on around here? Who does this? HOW does poop get into the recycling cans??? Who mistakes poop for plastic???" Yep, you got it! The 2 year old! It must have been the 2 year old!!!

The confrontation...

Later in the evening, I decide that we should team up and ask our 2 year old if she took poop out of her diaper. She ought to have just enough rope to eat me alive, given our track record!

"Boog, did you take poop out of your diaper?"

"No," she says. Yep, DUH?! Of course she said no! You all know how often she says yes!

At this point, I am guessing she will give me some elaborate story, in 5 words or less, about how Bake took the poop out of her diaper!

"You didn't take poop out of your diaper?"

"No," she says again.

Here is where the team work comes into play. Dad starts asking the ?'s and the answers start to come around.

"Booooog, did you put poop into the recycling bins?," he says.

"yes," she says as though she would rather disappear than answer the question at hand!

"You did?," he says in horror. You know she has been touching the entire house and everyone in it all damned day long and I found the poop a LONG TIME AGO!

"yes," she replies again.

"Boog, you never ever take poop out of your diaper! You have to get your diaper changed when there is poop in it! And, for the record, you don't ever try to change your own diaper!!! Mommy will change you when you poop!!!," I say with as much authority as I can muster, while I really try to recount all of the times she has touched me with poop hands!

"I not do it gin mommy," she says with her cute little please don't put me in the recycling bin face!

All this, because we have been telling her not to poop in her pants! So, an intelligent 2 year old says, "I can take care of this problem. I will just take the poop out of my pants before you know it is there! Problem solved! See mom, that was not so hard, now was it!?!"

If only someone had taken me up on the kid give away sweepstakes I was trying to put together last week!!!!

Baby gets me through a bad, sad day! And, a thank you to those who matter most!

Man, I really miss you mom! It's been a whole year!

Man, I really miss you mom! Just wish you were here!

Make myself a cup of chai, sit down in the 'puter chair.

All at once my little one is awake and aware!

It's ok Macy May, I say into her ear.

Momma will feed you in a bit you sweet little dear.

Once she's fed, she must burp! And what a burp it was!!!

I said, jeez, sounds like you'll puke. Suddenly there it was!

All at once, I felt warm milk slipping down my chest!

In another moment's pass, it ran down my back!

Well, Macy May, I thought we were going to have a sad day,

But you seemed to have had your say!

I guess, mom, you are still here!

I can hear your laughter in my ears!!!



Yes, girls, yesterday was the day. September 19, 2008 was the one year anniversary of the death of my BELOVED mother!


She was only 46, much too young to die.

God had other plans for her and all of us must rely

On the strength that she instilled in us to make it through the years!

Without her all we have is memories and tears!

She was very strong and MEAN, but what else would one expect

From the one who solely raised five kids?!? She was a lunatic!

I miss my mom so dearly, but never would I ask,

For her to come back to me in the shape that she was!


My family has been blessed with a wonderful, strong, helpful, willing and just plain crazy bunch of women who do their best to uphold the things that my mother would have wished for! They help keep us on the path, even if they don't tread that path themselves! They look out for all the things that she would have just KNOWN were going to happen and promptly say I told you so, as mom probably instructed them to do! They all are dear to me and I thank each and every one for being in my life!

Damn, I can't believe I am about to compromise my anonymity and sign this, but it is for the best, I guess!

I love you all!

Jamie

Oscar Winning Performance!

Boog, again, is my 2 year old daughter! She is extremely intelligent, but still a 2 year old at heart!

The Oscar Winning Conversation went as follows:

Boog, who pooped?

I oh know!

Boog, who pooped?

Not me!

Boog, who pooped? Who pooped their pants?

I oh know!

Did you poop your pants?

No!

Well, who did?

Bake (Blake) did!

Wait a minute! Blake pooped his pants, or Blake pooped your pants?

Bake pooped my pants!

Now, I am just about to bust, so I must end this conversation quickly!!! It is time to exit stage right, for sure! One last attempt at making sense of all of this... So, Boog, who pooped their pants?

I oh know!

Enough already! I give in! I don't care who did it and I am really uncertain, at this point, as to which one of us is a complete and utter lunatic! So, I recognize failure, yet again, and ready myself for YET ANOTHER big kid poopy diaper, which I might add is going to make the paint peel if I don't get off of here and get to changing it!

Paci, oh paci!

This little diddy is intended to be hummed to the tune from Frère Jacques. Do you rememer than one? (Damn, I had to search online just to figure out exactly how it was to be spelled!)


We lost paci, We lost paci,

What are we gonna do, What are we gonna do,

Poke my f 'ing eyes out, Poke my f 'ing eyes out,

How about you, How about you???


This has been a joyous morning, no doubt! I wake to the squeals of my adorable 8 month old who is pulling my hair and putting her fingers in my mouth and then trying to separate my jaw! I looooove it! So, at 6:20, rather than 6:45, I grouchily crawl out of bed and take said baby to her dad, who has for whatever reason decided not to go in to work until 7 (whatever reason happens to be that the Cowboys played Monday night football last night and he did not go to bed until after 11, which means NEITHER DID I!!!). Anyway, I gather things for my shower and hers, while my 2 year old sleeps peacefully, right? Oh ok, whatever! She did not go to bed 'til after 11 either and now thinks it is happy fun time! Like HELL, little lady! Go to S L E E P, I say and quickly exit the room as she starts to blubber!

I can make this early morning shit work, if I can just get my Chai tea made and sit in the chair for 2 seconds to enjoy it. Strategy almost complete, until it happens! Meeeeema starts to flip out, because, as she sees it, I am taking precious lap time from her by sitting alone! So, I pick her up and much to my chagrin see that we are missing a crucial piece of my sanity! PACI!!! Paci, oh paci, where for art thou, Paci? I can simply not go on without out you dear Paci! What have I done so wrong to deserve even an hour without you? Never mind the baby who reluctantly enjoys the supple silicone that you posess! I enjoy every minute knowing that you are available, because I know it is you and only you who will gain me 5 minutes of peace! Oh, I will never quite be the same, if I can not find you, my dearest Paci!

Well, the bullshit did not work, because I was not able to coax that damned pacifier out of wherever it has been hiding! Not that I blame it! The kid has a tooth now and I have been talking her into sharpening it on the paci and not me! So, for now, my search has ended! I don't know where or when we will pick up! Probably somewhere just after the next crying jag or fit throwing episode! For now, I am contented to rock her in the computer chair and hope for the best!

Good day!

Interesting Conversation!

Setting:

Momma B, 2 year old, whom I will call Boog, and 8 month old, whom I will call Meeeeema, are all in the kitchen, where Momma B is doing yet another horrific sized load of dishes by hand, yes there are still people who do not have a dishwasher roaming the earth in 2008! Anyway, Boog is eating, while she sits, not so thankfully, in the high chair and Meeeeema is in the walker.

The interesting conversation starts out innocently enough...

"Hey Meeeeema, are you mommy's sweetest sweetheart???," when suddenly I feel the prying eyes of 2 year old Boog melting my flesh, so I muster up a "Gee, Boog, are you mommy's big girl?"

Heaven help us, the child that never says "yes" answered me curtly with a "Yes, I mommy's big dorl!"

Oh ok, we are playing nice today! Yippee for mommy! Lets try some more positive affirmations. I am on a roll and I am searching for answers to many of life's important ?s, because she might be the only person in the world who will tell me what I want to hear!

"Do you love mommy?," I ask.

"Yes, I wuv mommy?," she says.

"Do you love Meeeeema?," I ask.

"Yes, I wuv Meeeeema?," she says.

Jack pot! Now I am going in for the kill!

"Are you going to go pee on the potty?," I ask.

"No mom," she says, again rather curtly, bursting my bubble FOREVER!!!!





Oh well, there is always tomorrow, right? Damn, I hope so! My sanity is wearing thin and my patience for changing big kid poop is even more so!

I need to know...

Why, oh why, must I be embarassed that one of the neighbors might be outside with their dog, picking weeds, or an innocent traveler might be driving by in the morning when I am trying to wake my kids up??? I swear that it must sound like the tornado whistle to those who are not familiar with my whining and screaming tactic!!! I am already sick to death of trying to wake them up in the morning! Every time I have to "freak out" to get someone out of bed, I start to threaten an even earlier bed time the next night and that very night I am still trying get said offender to go to sleep at almost 10p.m.!!!

The brings up the important question...

Anyone want some kids???

I have all shapes, sizes, and ages, in both genders!

Any takers???

Any???

Ok, fine, I guess I'll keep 'em all!

Thanks for your help!?!?!?!

3,2,1...

"3, 2, 1

BLAST OFF!!!

And, we have lift off!!!! (applause roars from the crowd!!!)

Ok, I think we did it! Her head finally exploded, launching her brain miles from the Earth's atmosphere!

Now what?

Now, we can do whatever we want to!!!

Hooray!!!"

Ever feel like this is what your kids are thinking when you take them to:

Church, your job, the store, and God, himself, forbid, THE MALL!?!?!?!?!





Just checking!

eeeeeewwwy baby eeeeeeeewwy!

Well, I don't exactly know how to explain it, but it is 8:09 a.m. and it has already been the day from hell! I slept little last night because my lovely, sweet, precious and let's not leave out totally able to produce poop 8 month old would not allow me to! I should have seen it coming too, because the last time she was so restless I found myself cleaning up a poop explosion in the middle of the night.

Is the picture coming clearer now?

My alarm went off at 6:45. I very unreadily popped up wishing that my lack of sleep induced hangover feeling would subside. By the time I reached my dresser, which is just on the other side of my bed, I was praying that my head would explode already!!! Anyway, as I stood there picking out my clothes for the day and muttering sweet nothings, such as "shut uuuuuup" and "go back to sleeeeeeeeeeeeep" to my 8 month old, my husband suddenly snuck through the bedroom door. "Great," I say! "You are here and I am going back to bed! And don't tell me you have to be somewhere, because if you really had to hurry you'd have been gone already!" He looked dejected and shrugged his shoulders, but did not argue and simply sulked away. Fine by me! I don't care if he is mad!!! My rude ass just wants to be asleep!

9 minutes later! 9 whole minutes later she is raising so much cain that I have no choice but to get up! Gee, could I??? I have not had one night since she has been born when I drank more than 2 (alcohol) drinks, yet I have been waking up with that hangover feeling for most of the last 8 months, so why wouldn't I want to get up now!?!?!?!?!?!?

I accept defeat and get up!

I put the baby in the walker and walk away, while she begins her wailing routine.

About 5 minutes later I begin to feel bad, because I figure out that a belly ache is the whole reason for all of the crap she put me through all night long. I only felt bad for a minute though, because I happened to look down, as I pulled her out of the walker to change her diaper and what I saw would change my life FOREVER!

My child had literally pooped her guts out!

Poop in an 8 inch square on the floor!

Poop on her leg!

Poop on her foot!

Poop on the wheels of her walker!

And, poop on my hands before it was all over with!

About 9348039804958 wipes and a few bleach wipes later, my life is clean as a whistle again, right? Nope, she pooped again as soon as I cleaned up all the mess from the first time! No kidding! Although, this time I did not have to declare a state of emergency, thank GOD!

Potty training for 2 year olds!

Or, is that potty training 2 year olds? I am really uncertain at this point! This is hardly my first rodeo, but it has been the most memorable by far!

My 2 year old daughter, as of last month, is ready to be potty trained, or so I thought anyway! She is really quite intelligent and has a full vocabulary, so I decided if she can communicate she can be potty trained, right? Oh sure! Right?!? Whatever!

We started this brilliant endeavor yesterday and I am ready to end it, for an undetermined amount of time, as of today! She is certainly not going to be heartbroken if I suddenly decide that she has had enough of peeing down her legs!

Let me make sense of this for you. 8 months ago I gave birth to a sweet, fat baby girl and my other baby girl suddenly became a "big girl." Or, that is the way I thought it would work! It has been nothing like I thought it would be! My "big girl" started physically abusing her baby dolls as soon as the new baby came home! From bouncing their little heads off of her play pen to drop kicking them across the room and then so sweetly saying "uh oh," I have seen it all! So it did not surprise me at all when she decided that she should be sitting in the baby seat and buckling herself in, although I greatly discourage it and tell her how she is such a big girl! And, now that the baby is getting bigger and experiencing many "firsts," my "big girl" is shrinking even more!

Well, anyway, in getting back to my hairbrained idea of potty training her, this kamikaze mission is almost over! I am ready to steer this plane into the broadest mountain I can find, because it can not possibly have a good ending! Yesterday, being our first attempt with the potty, was not expected to go well. After the one major pee explosion and my 8 month old joy riding through it with her walker, I really thought today would be better! Almost!

Has anyone ever had a new puppy? Ever stepped in a pee puddle? Well, that was my first clue that today would not be much more eventful, in the direction of the potty chair anyway, than yesterday! I was on the phone and when she got off of the potty I was sooooooo excited to see pee in the basin! It was a great feeling! Until, approximately 8 minutes later I stepped in a covert pee puddle! It was expertly camoflauged just for my sake! I am sure of that!!!! This was to be the first of many pee puddles and by nap time, we were both exhausted! She was even falling asleep in her high chair at lunch, which never happens! Needless to say, after her nap, I gave the 2 year old the option to wear a diaper, if she wanted to!

I know it sounds like I am giving up, but I prefer to call it a mental break! We will try again, but probably not for a few weeks!

sleeping baby

Well, I am at it again! I am stuck under my 8 month old baby girl! She is such a sweet baby and I love her dearly, but...

I am sitting,

sitting,

sitting

under my baby. My time has just been ticking away for about 30 minutes now and I can go nowhere! I have had to pee for the last 28 and a half minutes, so that is great! My vacuum bag is completely full and screaming to be changed, but there does not seem to be an end, to my sitting, in sight! I have dishes to do and laundry in the washer, but still I sit! Did I mention that the only thing I am capable of is answering my (#*$)# phone! It has been ringing off the hook for the last 30 minutes and that is TOO MUCH! Now, I have been sitting here for more than 30 minutes and am trying to decide if anyone will notice if I pee on my computer chair? I am also wondering if any of my daily thoughts put me at risk of needing a psychiatric evaluation???

So, I guess what I am saying is that I am a total lunatic, who has a million un-done household chores, a full bladder (and since I have had 4 children, I think there is something to say about that!), an annoying phone, a sleeping baby and a partridge in a pear tree!

Hope you are having a great day!