Thursday, September 2, 2010

The Rest Of The Story...

Melinda asked what the items in my last blog post mean, which is probably a good question, since they are strange items to be given and I feel so strongly about them, so I guess I will spill my guts now, although, I am not sure I am ready to.

Let me start with a little background, so this might make more sense to all of you, since some of you have not been reading my blog for all that long.

In 2007 I found out I was expecting my 4 bio child and 7 total child. We had 6, counting the 2 we adopted and my husband's oldest, but I had only given birth to 3 of those. Anyway, I was devastated. Really!!! I did not want to have more children, which is why it was ok for me to take on the 6th child. She was a baby in need of a home and I wasn't going to have more babies, so it would be fine. Until, 6 months later, when I found out I was going to have our #7. I went, on the day of my sisters Sr. Prom, to tell my mom. I was standing in her driveway with a pee on a stick device and I was ready to die! She laughed at me.

Flash foward...Mom died Sept. 19th, 2007, of her second bout with cancer. I was pregnant with a child I was not happy about and no longer had my mom. Great!

Flash forward to Monday of this week...My body was not running the way I thought it should be, so I made my husband bring home another pee on a stick device...guess who is freaking pregnant? Well, it sure as hell isn't him! I wasn't going to do this again the last time! Apparently, baby makes 8, or 9, if God is feeling funny and decides I need twins, time will tell.

Anyway, I got a text from my sister yesterday saying that she left something in my car. It was a red gift bag. I looked at all of the items, while I stood in the door of my car (suburban, you know we can't just drive a car with so blasted many kids!) The items were cute, but the card explained it all!

Kylie said,

This care package is to make you smile, when you are ready to smile. I know you've got to be missing mom like crazy right now, so I got you the Jack-O-Lantern to remind you she is always around. Doesn't its crazy smile remind you of that devilish look mom could have? The candle is to bring Fall to your house and make you happy. (I love Fall!) The mug is for the extra chai you will be consuming and to remind you your smile lights up my world, (This had me bawling!) and finally the nail polish is for your toes...I promise to paint them when you can't see them anymore(My toenails get painted, no matter how big I am! I don't do anything else girlie, really, but the toenails!). I'm here when you want to talk, scream or cry. Oh! And the pen is because it is probably time to start writing again! :)(I write in a certain notebook, when I am stressed, or missing mom terribly.)

Pretty sweet, huh?!


Melinda said...

Thank you, I didn't mean to pry.

My 3rd child was a surprise and I really was not happy about it so I understand what you mean, I was in a bad marriage, blah blah blah.
I've been reading your blog long enough to know that you are a terrific Mom and you are the type of person to make lemonade.
So, I'm just going to say congratulations, you're blessed and I bet your Mom is smiling and proud of you.

Cassie said...


I cried for the entire first trimester and part of the second, when I found out I was pregnant with the last one. Truly he is the icing on my cake and I can't imagine life without him, but boy oh boy, was it hard getting used to the idea that I was indeed pregnant again!

Brenda said...

You are a great Mom and I'm sure you'll be great with your next one. Congratulations and may God bless you and your family.

debi9kids said...

OMGoodness! Congratulations to you.
Even if you aren't feeling lucky or blessed, it is a blessing and just try to look at this baby this way.
If nothing else, know it was created with the love of 2 people and maybe, just maybe, instead of missing your mom, think that perhaps she is behind these unexpected blessings.

ps Thank you for all of your love and support for my family. Amazing that as you have been going through your own feelings of saddness, that you have found a way to be lifting me up when I need it most.
Thank you, my friend.

Snot Head said...

Love seeing your perspective. I really wanted to make this kind of an impact on you, so I'm glad it worked. Isn't it crazy to think there was a reason you had a baby sister when you were almost 13 years old already? ;o)