Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am thankful for another day with my family!

I am afraid that I may be so stressed out that I could puke by the time they leave today, but I am thankful all the same!

I hope you have a great day with your families as well!

I will be waiting to hear the stories!!!

Monday, November 24, 2008

sick to death!

Well, I started my day off well. Ha! I woke up at 5 freakin' 30 and knew that going back to sleep would be impossible, so I just got out of bed and made my way to the chai tea. Yep, I said chai tea! It is essential! I would not have a good morning without my one vice!


I got the kids up and they started getting ready for school. I guess I should mention that last week on Monday Z was sick with stomach flu or something. I did not mention it, because I believe he gets psychological flu! You have to know him to understand. It is like, I don't want to take the test flu. Or, I made the teacher mad on Friday flu. Stuff like that! And, on Tuesday, N, was sick with pink eyes, but not pink eye! I kept him home, because his eyes were not white and I knew the school would have a stroke if I tried to send him. Anyway, he went to the dr. Before we got out of there, Boog was diagnosed with a double ear infection and N was given a clean bill of health! Ha! Yep, totally sucks to be most days! Yet another reason for the chai tea! Did I mention that I have been crocheting and have done very little cleaning today? Did I mention that the dishes are taunting me and I have to sweep and put laundry away, along with needing to wash and dry another 2 loads before everyone else gets home in roughly 20 minutes?

Ok, back on track...

We left off at getting the kids ready for school...

I should have known something was wrong, because Ponch, otherwise known as A, was not her usual perky self. Anyway, I also noticed that B had pink eyes. I knew that he probably got that from N, but the school would not be pleased if I sent him with out the dr.'s approval, so I called the school to report his absence. As I am hanging up the phone, I hear water running in Ponch's bedroom. That makes no sense, since there is no running water in her room, so I look in and see her throwing up water! UGH! She was less than pleased!

I made appts. for both of them, so the dr. could tell me that nothing was wrong with either one of them and we could go on about our business. WRONG! A, Ponch, has walking pneumonia! B, however, is clear!

What I hope to learn from this is what the hell is going on with my kids? None of them have seemed overly sick! A has had a cough for a week or so. No big deal. A cold can last a while. I really thought that was true. The coughing so hard this morning made me think otherwise and the puking made me think of my freshman year when I had walking pneumonia, but I did not expect that to be her diagnosis! I feel like a JERK for always thinking the ones who seem fine are fine and the ones I think are sick are never sick! WHATEVER!!!

Have a FABULOUS DAY! And, keep your kids away from my world! They don't deserve it!!! Noone deserves to be sick like this!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Meeeeema Monster!

Oh no, the Meeeeema Monster is going to eat the village!

Uh oh, she has turned her sights on the momma!

Aaaagh, she got me! She got me!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Poop Potty Girl!

Ok, I have not been at liberty to mention that my little Booga Brat has been using the potty for about three weeks now, because I was afraid of jinxing her progress. But, I am now at liberty to tell you, because she has turned into Poop Potty Girl! That's right! The little snot has gone from pooping in her sleep, because she flat refuses to use the potty to being a really super big girl who poops on the potty! Or, she has done it twice anyway! I am calling it serious progress! Granted she tells me she has to poop atleast a half a dozen times before she actually does it, but she is still learning.

The only question?

How do you say "Big Girl(!)" and "WooHoo(!)" and "Yippee(!)" with your shirt over your nose?

Hell, I even managed not to throw up as I discarded one of her proudest moments!

That's right! I'm a good momma!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I Did It! I Did It!

Woooo Hooooo! I am excited! I have not done this for almost 20 years!

Ok, so maybe this black scarf with a red racing stripe does not look like much to the artful crocheting mind, but I did it! My grandma suggested double crochet, since my single looks like I am tying knots! Everything I did by way of single crochet was sooooo tight that half way through whatever I happened to be attempting I would have to stop and start anew! Bad news! But, once I got to know the double crochet, I actually made a full fledged scarf! And the kicker is that my 11 year old SON wanted it to be his! He told be when I began crocheting a few weeks ago that he would probably never wear a scarf, so I should basically count him out. I was a little sad, but I did not say anything. I guess I just thought it would be one more that I could donate to a good cause. That was my whole intention. I would crochet scarf after scarf and donate them. No such luck! Did I mention that I have a million kids? Well, my sister made one for one of the kids, but the rest of them seem to be attaching themselves to the things I am making, so I have no donation scarves thus far, but if I am quick and keep making them as fast as my fingers will go, I may just be able to donate a few!?!?

Friday, November 14, 2008

8 things

8 TV shows I watch (mostly on hulu or dvd):

I do not watch much tv, so this is beyond me. I guess we could use old favorites for the sake of playing the game.

1. Tom and Jerry
2. Roseanne
3. Fresh Prince (goofy, huh?)
4. The Flintstones
5. The Jetsons
6. The Smurfs
7. Little House on the Prairie
8. The Cosby Show

8 of My Favorite Restaurants (we don’t eat out much, close to never):

1. Subway-carry out
2. Pizza Hut-carry out
3. Monical's Pizza-carry out
4. Fazoli's-before groceries with the girls (never happens any more)
5. Cheddar's (never happens any more either!)

8 Things that happened Yesterday

1. dishes
2. made a really neat necklace!
3. laundry
4. walked with my sister
5. took g-ma to an appt.
6. swept floors
7. went to grocery store
8. finished my book

8 Things I am looking forward to:

1. Meeeeema being big enough to be done nursing!
2. Watching some goofy fight with my friends tomorrow!
3. Time with family!
4. My siblings reactions to the gifts I am creating for them for Christmas!
5. Getting my Sunday school kids through the hand sewing of the pillows we are creating for their loved ones! We started two weeks ago and are slowly but surely making head way!
6. Feeling the accomplishment of finally getting a scarf to turn out the way it should, rather than being bound up sooooo tightly!
7. Getting Boog fully potty trained.
8. Seeing my family grow into adulthood, something my mother never got to experience.

8 things on my wishlist:

1. Marcia, much like you would like a cure for systemic sclerosis, I would like to see the cure for cancer, so that I don't ever have to lose anyone else in the same manner.
2. All projects around my house to be complete!
3. guiltless chocolate
4. people to realize what they have before they lose it
5. the kids to love each other visibly and not just in theory!
6. peace of mind
7. a few less worries (same thing as 6? I don't know? Maybe!)
8. vacation to ANYWHERE with my family! and enough extra hands to help us all enjoy it!

8 Things I love:

1. My children, all 032984023984 of them!
2. My husband, yep, I am admitting to it just this once!
3. My siblings
4. My grandma!
5. having a many good friends who will allow my crazy to invade their lives!
6. vanilla chai
7. spiced chai
8. pumpkin spiced chai

8 things I can't stand:

1. lying
2. bickering
4. redoing the same thing over and over each day! Why can't the dishes just stay done?!?
5. doing the budget!
6. allergies and sinus problems!
7. not being able to help someone who is sad
8. feeling like there is never enough time!

8 People I am tagging:

You be the judge of this...

If you want to share, send me a comment telling me where to look and I will!

I'll Be Damned If I Am Not Sad Again!

The question that was asked by my son, Z, and relayed to me by another parent, is this, "Why are so many people dying right now?" I am devastated! I don't know how to answer this. I dont' want to convey the wrong message. I do not spend my days curled up in a ball. I am just hurt by not being more able to help with his pain. So, I do the best I can by offering a little time alone. I go to my room a little early every so often and most of the time he follows me to bed. We talk about things. I try to listen without talking too much--very difficult for me, as you all well know. I want him not to be afraid. I am a little too afraid of many different things. I want him to feel secure. I tell myself fear is an emotion that parents display, because they want to keep their children safe. I know my fear is probably more than that. It comes from too much death and wondering when and where it might strike again. I am sad. Very sad.

This morning, before we could do much of anything, my husband, who is on his way to work, hollars back in the door that their is an ambulance at the 95, almost 96, year old neighbors house. She maybe be old, by year, but she is cool as hell! Yes, I know, I don't say things like that, but if you knew her...

At any rate, Z promptly put his coat and shoes on and went to the side of the house closest to the neighbors house and waited. He watched. He was intent on knowing whether she was or was not ok before he could move. Move at all. I did not know what to do, so I waited as well. I watched from time to time until I saw the stretcher come out with her in it and alive. I know that sounds crass, but the lights and whistles never did sound, as far as the amublance is concerned, so I was worried. My son brought that to my attention. I was in the kitchen telling the other kids that Mrs. F. has lived a long life and she is ready to go when God calls her, so to speak. I mean, noone wants to die, but noone really wants to start outliving their children either. The mere thought is upseting to me. I would miss her greatly, but she has had a long, wonderful life! She is a very interesting lady and I can talk to her as I talk to any of you! I would sorely miss that. Still, I am ok with her passing when the time comes.

I am getting off track, but what is new about this? NOTHING, I say! Anyway, I am worried about my son, so I call the school and talk to the counselor. She makes me feel a little better. I tell her his question to another mother and she says there will be pastors and/or priests available to all of the p.e. classes today, so that they can help with the grief and loss of the two girls who died this week and just to field questions that might arise. I asked her to prompt someone to bring up the particular question, so he and his friend, who happened to have the same question, will know that they are not alone and may even find some comfort in an answer, that I am unable to provide.

Sorry for the jumble of stress, but this is an extension of my being and by default it encompasses all of my crazy!

Scary, huh?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

I got an email from a friend expressing her inherent joy, because I had not complained about being pooped on as much as I did the day before, or something like that anyway and I am sharing my response, to her, with you, because I am making myself laugh by simply recounting my experience from a few days ago.

Hey, now that you mention it, I did not get pooped up to anywhere yesteday. Although, she pooped a lot! And, since we weren't soaking any baby clothes in the oversized pink bowl, my husband haaaaad to bump A's arm and she haaaaad to spill Power Ade all over her clothes. God forbid that bowl be empty for even one day! That might feel like too much of any accomplishment for me!

Did I tell you that the day before Boog pooped in her shower ring? Yes, she is two and still uses it. She is so tiny that she slides around and freaks out, because she is scared, so it works. Anyway, I run shower water for her and put Meeeeema in her little tub and then they "take a bath" together. That works fine. Fine until someone poops in the tub! Someone happens to be Boog and the poop happened to be green and blue again??? Who knows! I swear she has been eating Play-Doh! What other explanation is there? Honestly? UGH! I had answered the phone and them put them in the shower and was trying to talk and wash Meeeeema's hair, since she is not under the running water, when I saw the bright blue and green poop peaking out of her ring! OMG, I thought I would surely die! How gross is this, really!?!? I shut the shower off. I picked the poop up with soggy toilet paper. I got off the phone and then I let her have it! "DON'T EVER POOP IN THE SHOWER!" She did not seem shaken at all. She just responded, "Poop potty!"

"Gee, great, you get it, so why the hell don't you do it?"

I am not sure that I can potty train another one! Meeeeema will be 10 wearing the biggest pull-ups I can find, which I reverted to with Boog, because if she has underwear on, I can't let her wear pants. For some reason, she thinks it is ok to pee in her underwear if she has pants on, but not if I leave her pants off. Well, guess what? It is cold in here, so she wants pants. Without the pants, her lips turn purple. NO JOKE! So, I put her in pull-ups and tell her they are underwear, which is extremely confusing when I want her to throw the wet ones away! And then she can wear her pants and have red lips. I think it is win-win for everyone!

Where was the "Potty Training For Dummies" when I needed it most? Or maybe, I need it now?

What day is it?

Pain, Tragedy, Suffering - Mother's Strife Hits Small Town USA Yet Again!

Well, much to my dismay, it has happened again, although this time it is more heart breaking than the last, not that I have any room to judge one person's sorrow over that of another. I am speaking in terms of age only here. A mother loses her child again. Let me try and explain this without putting information in that is not my place to disclose.

An 8th grade girl has a friend stay the night with her. I know, I know, its a week night, right? But, for us, it is a holiday. Veteran's day is observed here with a day off of school. Anyway, the friends are going to have a girl's night of whatever sort, because they don't have to go to school! Great idea, right? It should have been until the early morning hours when the boiler system in the basement had some sort of malfunction and a fire started. The two girls happened to be sleeping in the basement, from what I understand.

From here I can only imagine a mother's terror and pain. (I am getting to be way to good at putting myself in the shoes of horror and sorrow. I think it is becoming a sickness. I am sure Bake's counselor would agree!) I understand that the girl's mother tried desperately to free her child and the child's friend, but to no avail.

Today is the first day after the accident.

In my mind, this is what hell must be like.






And, yet, you have to wake up and face it every morning, until your life is over.

Mom's know that with love comes pain and heart ache, but this is more than any parent should ever have to know.

My family has faced a lot of pain and heart ache, yet this is my greatest fear and in two weeks time, I have seen two mother's in our small community, on much different levels with different circumstances, go through the very same loss. My heart goes out to them. I wish I could take the pain away. We were by no means close friends, but I have known this particular mother since I was 9, or maybe longer.

I am so sorry for her loss and the loss felt by the rest of her family.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Too Big For Her Britches!

My little, big, silly, stressful, sweet, loving, aggravating, wonderful baby girl thinks she is a little bigger than mommy would like! She keeps standing up to things like this is all part of a bigger plan, but I just keep thinking, "Noooooooo!" and "SIT BACK DOWN!" Or maybe even, "I am NOT ready for this yet!"

I Know This Is Wrong, I Know This Sounds Bad, But...

I just fed my sweetest baby girl and it so happens that I am a boob feeder, so that what makes this particular gesture of unselfish love just plain gross!

I just finished feeding Meeeeema and I propped her back upright, so she could burp and possibly fall asleep (please, oh please) on my shoulder, when she decided that the best thing she could do at that very moment would be to give momma a million milky, yucky, kisses! Being the loving mother that I am, I tried to dodge her, but an unrelently 10 month old just repositioned herself and got the million milky kisses that she so desired! I love kisses and all, but, well, um, oh, you know, NASTY!


To Be, Or Not To Be!?!

So, do I keep my hair free house, or let this little bundle of joy and hair all mixed together forever invade my heart and space? That truly is the question!

My son came home yesterday and said something about the fact that I mentioned getting a puppy for Stafa, our aging Rott, to train, so that we would a new dog trained by our current good friend. He knew he had a good in with that angle and some kid a few blocks away had told them that they were going to take this puppy to the pound. She was kept outside and was getting in trouble for barking all the time. I am guessing that neighbors were tired of it, because I can't imagine why else someone would get rid of her. I told him to go ask if he could bring her home for us to take a look at. We could have gone down to the house, but there are way more of us and only one dog, so it was the best way I could think of for almost all of us to get a look at her at one time.

A smiling Z brought the stinky, but very sweet-faced dog home just a short while later. We decided that we could just not afford to keep her and probably would not want to live with all the hair in the house, as we have done so often before, and then, S, my husband, decided that we should give it a try, so he had to hunt a crushed and broken Z down and tell him that we had changed our minds! Everything after that has been a blur! Z gave her a much needed and very disasterous bath and brought her out to meet everyone formally. She peed in the floor a few times, which drives me crazy! Z and I ran to Wal-Mart for a few necessary dog supplies. After that, she nestled into bed with some of the kids and watched TV and then proceeded to sleep with them all night long! Oh, have I not mentioned that I have chicken kids who all pile into one double bed and sleep together? 3 of them sleep in that bed every night! Now 4, I guess.

Dog hair in Meeeeema's mouth and butt crack are my biggest concern, not to mention in anything that we might make from here til forever! I can't stand hair, but I think that a true companion for all of our kids for years to come might be worth more than my stressing over dog hair, don't you?

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Birthday Parties Are Fun!

Birthday parties are fun, right? Sure. Why wouldn't they be, unless you are as anxiety stricken as I am! I don't even invite many others, because every fiber of my being warns against it! Let's just say that I know better! My fragile psyche can not take it!

So, the details of the double b-day party, for Bake-our now 6 year old son and Ponch-our now 9 year old daughter which are technically our two middle children by birth right and otherwise(!), from Saturday should not come as such a surprise to you, since you have been warned of my Birthday Party Syndrome.

(I was emailing this blubbering mess of crap to a friend and thought I would just pass it on, but as I went through I saw lots of missing links, so you get the new and improved, but still all true life events, I assure you! I don't know how anyone could mentally create the stuff that goes on in my world! These events may be shocking and or unsuitable for younger readers! Not really, but you never know!)

It was fine, but the unfortunate thing is that birthday parties stress me out terribly! First off, I thought we were going to be late, which would really be bad. I knew my friend K would be because her little girl R was sleeping. She had made a comment earlier in the afternoon that if she woke R up, we would see a drunk K at the party, so it was a given that she would be late! Anyway, my sister somehow got the time wrong (and had two of our brothers, another little girl, and Big T)and did not get there til 6 when we said 5 and had all the kids there at 5 so I was thinking that the kids would be a disaster by the time we got the party going, but most of them were ok. On the other hand, Boog decided to miss a step and do a face plant, so she had the beginnings of a Unicorn horn a little off to the side of her forehead! Bad news!!!

I had to run and get Z and his buddy, the boy who lost his dad this week, which is the only reason a friend of Z's got to come to the other kid's party, and grandma, so it was almost 5:30 when I got there. The kids made the best of it by playing pool and just running the place!

I was starving and ready to eat one of the kids by the time we got to the food part! I had two cupcakes without a second thought as to whether there was enough for anyone else to have more or anything! Knee jerk reaction to being hungry!!!! I did not even care if the kids got to open presents as long as I could have food and to prove that, I made S, my husband, take the pics!!!!!!!

We started bowling and I got 3 frames into it by the time Meeeeema exploded poop everywhere, which also happened to be the exact time I was on the phone with Pizza Hut. I was trying to get our order in, so we could eat sooner, rather than later! Again, HUNGRY! I think being nervous makes my blood sugar drop like it does for a diabetic, honestly. Anyway, back to the poop sensation the swept all over my arm and Meeeeema's clothes! GROSS! I am sooooooo extremely sick of being shit on that there are no good words to explain it, so just know that in an archaic, but quaint (ha) little bowling alley, I was never happier to be one of the two groups of people to be there! We needed our own extra lane for poop changing!

By the time we got the pizza it was 7:30 and I had taken grandma home while I was out getting it. I can say that I did not eat straight out of the box while I drove, but only because I had it in the seat behind me! I only bowled 3 frames, because I had to feed Meeeeema, my GIANT newborn, before I went to get the pizza. I stood and ate pizza as soon as I could get some in my mouth, making myself look like a starved orphan or something, but that is just about the way I was feeling, so I guess it worked out just fine! Somehow, in between scarfing down food, I managed to dish something out for all the kids, who were probably just as hungry as I was, almost. You should always think of the children first, unless you are pretty damned sure that you might be hungrier than they are!

As you can tell, birthday parties are always a treat in my family! What I really wanted was a drink and although I could have gotten by with it, I did not have one. I could really have used some sort of anti-anxiety something right about then, but, well, Hell, I don't know! I survived, as did the rest of the family, so I guess it was O K !

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Feeling The Pain!

He is gone.

I spoke to his mother today.

He died yesterday.



Just plain sad!

Now, I have to tell my kid and prepare myself for a funeral that is too painful for words! I have not done this since my mother's death and I really don't want to go through all of those feelings again, but I don't really have a choice! I would never keep my support from the family, but I am really having a hard time dealing with the way I feel!

A kid needs a dad, even if only to be able to tell him later that he was not there for him. This may sound ridiculous, but my dad was not there for me and when I got older I was able to decide to reconcile a little and I was able to try and salvage a little bit of a relationship. I did not get left with only the feelings of not being enough to keep my dad at home and not being good enough for him to want to stay with us. I know this is not true, or my fault, but I am speaking from my childhood feelings. Anyway, this boy will have no time to ask questions or try and mend relationships. I can't stand it! I hate this for him! I am taking on the pain and I know that is crazy, but the things I did get a chance to deal with are closing in around me in sympathy for him!!!

Rest assured, I will always give all of my readers the feeling that they are completely sane, when they read my posts!

Monday, November 3, 2008