You know, I have not been on here much lately, because I have been feeling a little out of sorts. My sister's wedding is coming soon, but just two short weeks after that it will have been 2 years since my mom died. That day is looming overhead like a hurricane just off shore! It is driving me crazy! I still see her face in my mind. I see that she is young and crazy (sometimes good crazy and sometimes bad crazy!) and full of life, but I am wrong and she is not. Well, I am hoping Heaven can handle every bit of her, but she is no longer full of the life that I identify with and it is really wrecking my brain. Sometimes I find myself shutting down, and others I am a total bitch! I don't know what to do or where to turn to get this to stop. I know that the days leading up to an "event" usually mess with my head much worse than the day itself, but still!
I thought maybe spilling my guts would make me feel a little better. Maybe it will.
Please let me be clear, I am not soliciting attention. I am far from suicidal. I am just sad and pissed and crazy and lonely and miss MY MOM!