So, I am standing in the shower, which happens to be the only time/place that noone is hooked to my hip and my 11 year old, Z, finds his way into the bathroom. He tells me that he has been on the phone with TH's grandma. He tells me a little about their conversation before talking about the fact that he has a hard time understanding what is going on when she cries out of nowhere. She is the lady who lost her son a few months ago. I told Z that when she randomly cries she is thinking about things and just because she is not telling him what she is thinking about does not mean that she is alright. He seemed to still be a little puzzled, so I likened it to the way I felt when my mom died. I also told him that C has a harder time than I did, because her family has a hard time dealing with that loss, so most of them do not want to talk about it. This means she is just alone with her thoughts most of the time. As for me, I have so many friends who allowed me to bend their ears and did not ever try and change the subject, so I was able talk about my mother and get my fill of memories and sad thoughts or feelings, until I was "ok" with it! (This I am thankful for!)
Next thing I know, Z is telling me about all of his feelings and how he does not like to cry, because it just makes him feel worse and how he talks about the way things used to be when mom was around, because that is what he wants to think about--not her dying. I felt like there was some serious connecting going on--real breakthrough--until he interrupts right about the time I was telling him that our memories help us survive tough times and says,
"Mom, are you about done in here, because I really need to go to the bathroom!?!?"
Ok, so maybe not the breakthrough I hoped for, but I am making ground with the "no pooping while I am in the shower" part of life!