Monday, September 22, 2008

I know, I know, more poop!?!?!

Well, yesterday happened to be a very enlightening day, somehow...

My family had church, a birthday party and a cookout to attend. Eventhough that sounds like a lot of plans for one day, we were planning on tackling all of it, until the baby decided that she was going to function in "I hate getting teeth mode" all damned day long! So, we went to church and scratched the rest! Well, not all true, because most of the kids went to the birthday party, but, well, anyway, you get the point!

Later that afternoon...

"Poop! Poop!" I am frantic, because I just found poop in my recycling bins! "Hell no, that's not paper!" I was so grossed out and mad all at the same time. So, what do I do but sacrifice an empty paperboard box to pick the poop up with and throw them both away!

2 hours later...

"Poop! Poop! What the hell is going on around here? Who does this? HOW does poop get into the recycling cans??? Who mistakes poop for plastic???" Yep, you got it! The 2 year old! It must have been the 2 year old!!!

The confrontation...

Later in the evening, I decide that we should team up and ask our 2 year old if she took poop out of her diaper. She ought to have just enough rope to eat me alive, given our track record!

"Boog, did you take poop out of your diaper?"

"No," she says. Yep, DUH?! Of course she said no! You all know how often she says yes!

At this point, I am guessing she will give me some elaborate story, in 5 words or less, about how Bake took the poop out of her diaper!

"You didn't take poop out of your diaper?"

"No," she says again.

Here is where the team work comes into play. Dad starts asking the ?'s and the answers start to come around.

"Booooog, did you put poop into the recycling bins?," he says.

"yes," she says as though she would rather disappear than answer the question at hand!

"You did?," he says in horror. You know she has been touching the entire house and everyone in it all damned day long and I found the poop a LONG TIME AGO!

"yes," she replies again.

"Boog, you never ever take poop out of your diaper! You have to get your diaper changed when there is poop in it! And, for the record, you don't ever try to change your own diaper!!! Mommy will change you when you poop!!!," I say with as much authority as I can muster, while I really try to recount all of the times she has touched me with poop hands!

"I not do it gin mommy," she says with her cute little please don't put me in the recycling bin face!

All this, because we have been telling her not to poop in her pants! So, an intelligent 2 year old says, "I can take care of this problem. I will just take the poop out of my pants before you know it is there! Problem solved! See mom, that was not so hard, now was it!?!"

If only someone had taken me up on the kid give away sweepstakes I was trying to put together last week!!!!


Marcia said...

Oh my goodness! Two-year-olds are something else for sure!

*Akilah Sakai* said...

That is by far the most kid-cute grossness ever. LOL! That is such a smart thing to do, though. Buy her a new toy! See how smart women are from such an early age? She didn't just throw it away, she recycled it! She cares about the planet.

Snot Head said...

I'm glad someone can see that as her caring for the planet. Haha! ;) I can't believe she took it out of her diaper without getting her hands covered in poop. She is going to have some amazing critical thinking skills! Oh the stories she will hear!