Tuesday, September 2, 2008

eeeeeewwwy baby eeeeeeeewwy!

Well, I don't exactly know how to explain it, but it is 8:09 a.m. and it has already been the day from hell! I slept little last night because my lovely, sweet, precious and let's not leave out totally able to produce poop 8 month old would not allow me to! I should have seen it coming too, because the last time she was so restless I found myself cleaning up a poop explosion in the middle of the night.

Is the picture coming clearer now?

My alarm went off at 6:45. I very unreadily popped up wishing that my lack of sleep induced hangover feeling would subside. By the time I reached my dresser, which is just on the other side of my bed, I was praying that my head would explode already!!! Anyway, as I stood there picking out my clothes for the day and muttering sweet nothings, such as "shut uuuuuup" and "go back to sleeeeeeeeeeeeep" to my 8 month old, my husband suddenly snuck through the bedroom door. "Great," I say! "You are here and I am going back to bed! And don't tell me you have to be somewhere, because if you really had to hurry you'd have been gone already!" He looked dejected and shrugged his shoulders, but did not argue and simply sulked away. Fine by me! I don't care if he is mad!!! My rude ass just wants to be asleep!

9 minutes later! 9 whole minutes later she is raising so much cain that I have no choice but to get up! Gee, could I??? I have not had one night since she has been born when I drank more than 2 (alcohol) drinks, yet I have been waking up with that hangover feeling for most of the last 8 months, so why wouldn't I want to get up now!?!?!?!?!?!?

I accept defeat and get up!

I put the baby in the walker and walk away, while she begins her wailing routine.

About 5 minutes later I begin to feel bad, because I figure out that a belly ache is the whole reason for all of the crap she put me through all night long. I only felt bad for a minute though, because I happened to look down, as I pulled her out of the walker to change her diaper and what I saw would change my life FOREVER!

My child had literally pooped her guts out!

Poop in an 8 inch square on the floor!

Poop on her leg!

Poop on her foot!

Poop on the wheels of her walker!

And, poop on my hands before it was all over with!

About 9348039804958 wipes and a few bleach wipes later, my life is clean as a whistle again, right? Nope, she pooped again as soon as I cleaned up all the mess from the first time! No kidding! Although, this time I did not have to declare a state of emergency, thank GOD!

2 comments:

WA said...

Ohhh, I'm so sorry you had such a shitty morning. (But at least you can laugh about it now...right? Right?)

Cassie said...

ROFL! I used to sing the most horrid lullabies to my babies. "Gooooo tooooo sleeeeeep you whinyyyyyy babyyyyyyyyyy. Mommmmmmmy's sooooo tired she's going craaaaaazyyyyyyyyyy." LOL!