I got an email from a friend expressing her inherent joy, because I had not complained about being pooped on as much as I did the day before, or something like that anyway and I am sharing my response, to her, with you, because I am making myself laugh by simply recounting my experience from a few days ago.
Hey, now that you mention it, I did not get pooped up to anywhere yesteday. Although, she pooped a lot! And, since we weren't soaking any baby clothes in the oversized pink bowl, my husband haaaaad to bump A's arm and she haaaaad to spill Power Ade all over her clothes. God forbid that bowl be empty for even one day! That might feel like too much of any accomplishment for me!
Did I tell you that the day before Boog pooped in her shower ring? Yes, she is two and still uses it. She is so tiny that she slides around and freaks out, because she is scared, so it works. Anyway, I run shower water for her and put Meeeeema in her little tub and then they "take a bath" together. That works fine. Fine until someone poops in the tub! Someone happens to be Boog and the poop happened to be green and blue again??? Who knows! I swear she has been eating Play-Doh! What other explanation is there? Honestly? UGH! I had answered the phone and them put them in the shower and was trying to talk and wash Meeeeema's hair, since she is not under the running water, when I saw the bright blue and green poop peaking out of her ring! OMG, I thought I would surely die! How gross is this, really!?!? I shut the shower off. I picked the poop up with soggy toilet paper. I got off the phone and then I let her have it! "DON'T EVER POOP IN THE SHOWER!" She did not seem shaken at all. She just responded, "Poop potty!"
"Gee, great, you get it, so why the hell don't you do it?"
I am not sure that I can potty train another one! Meeeeema will be 10 wearing the biggest pull-ups I can find, which I reverted to with Boog, because if she has underwear on, I can't let her wear pants. For some reason, she thinks it is ok to pee in her underwear if she has pants on, but not if I leave her pants off. Well, guess what? It is cold in here, so she wants pants. Without the pants, her lips turn purple. NO JOKE! So, I put her in pull-ups and tell her they are underwear, which is extremely confusing when I want her to throw the wet ones away! And then she can wear her pants and have red lips. I think it is win-win for everyone!
Where was the "Potty Training For Dummies" when I needed it most? Or maybe, I need it now?
What day is it?