Friday, May 15, 2009

My Kid

My kid does not ever give me much to go on. She is 9. She does not act like she likes me or others or anything in particular very often. She is very intelligent and extremely hard to deal with. She got an award Monday at school for achievement in all categories. She was happy about that. She can be loving. She can be caring. She can be difficult. She can be crass. And then, there are times when she just goes and does it...

Last night we were sitting on my bed. I was crocheting, which is what I used as my official down time before I go to sleep. I had asked Ponch to help me decorate some of the musical instruments that I am working on for a Sunday school project. Out of nowhere, she sat up and said, "when I grow up, I am going to (pause) recycle and adopt kids. The whole bit." Blown away, and on the verge of tears, I say, "where did all of this come from?" She was so nonchalant and just replied, "well, I am not going to adopt 7 kids. Maybe 3." I had tears spilling down my cheeks, much like the ones I have now. I was so touched. I told her that I always worried that bringing other kids into the lives of the ones we already had might screw up their lives in some way. She was so puzzled. She simply could not figure out why I would feel that way.

I could actually hear the angels sing.

Doing the right thing felt like the right thing last night, for real!

Yes, I hold on to small things, especially with her, because she gives so little.


3DNP said...

i have often wondered about ponch. sometimes she is open and most of the time she doesnt say much. at churhc last week, she sat by me and pretty much cuddled! i tell you i loved it soooo much! She even layed her head on my arm and i layed my head on hers and we just cuddled....a couple times! I was almost in tears and am pretty much in tears now (hormonal on top of things). Mid D could tell that it meant something to me. On the way home he made a comment "wow ponch was really close to you" and i told him i loved it! she just sits there quietly taking things in and sees the good you guys are doing. Like you said she is very smart and without explanation knows what it means to do the good things! How cool she is!!!

Snot Head said...

Dear God, Woman! I am trying to work here. I can't be making a scene and crying, too. That is so sweet. I am glad she wants to help others. I am also glad that she doesn't feel like she got the short end of the stick by having a few extras in the house. In a round about way, she actually said she loves the extras.

I've been thinking about her so much lately. It all started when I was talking to Big T's mom about when his grandpa died. Big T doesn't talk about him hardly at all excpet to say he really, really loved him. His mom said that after his grandpa died, he never let anyone that close again. When his grandpa was dying, he started to push people away.

I remember seeing Ponch cry in Tamie's arms, and I know she was full of attitude before mom died. I just worried that that really hurt her and that is why she keeps so much inside, because she is afraid of getting close to people just to lose them.

Momma B said...

Well, if that makes you feel bad, you should have been a fly on the wall when Bucko did not want to go to bed, because he had been worried about "when I die" and wanted very badly to sleep with me! UGH! I assured this that if he slept in his room, he would wake up and know that he does not have to be with me every minute and I will still be here and very much alive when he gets back!

Marcia said...

What a precious story. :)