Thursday, April 9, 2009

Getting Tired of This!

So, pretty much everyone who reads my blog knows that my mom died of cancer. I don't like it, but I am able to function through it. Now, this is what is really getting on my nerves, my grandma's brother C was diagnosed with prostate cancer. He is optimistic that it can be fixed, because their brother J has had and made it through the same thing. This is all well and good, right? Sure.

My mad-texting granny sent me a message this morning saying that her brother J has bone cancer now! I can not believe the timing on this! My Uncle C was really confident and now his hopes will be smashed and my Uncle J probably does not get any good news from here on out! I know that is not a rosy outlook, but I find that honesty is better than lying to myself and others, in most cases!

I also want to convey to everyone that I do not pray for magic, except for in Stellan's case and then I prayed that God would keep him here (because babies are not meant to be lost, in my eyes), but I do pray that God will do the right thing for the person and family involved. I also pray that God will comfort everyone involved and let them see the reasons that death is ok for their loved one. When mom died, I was sure that I would miss her, but that if she was only going to be alive the way she had been, I was ok with her dying. She had to go or be a sad shell of who she was and who she wanted to be and that was not ok with me.

I am just mad! Confused! Sad! HUMAN!

4 comments:

3DNP said...

oh no! your family is in our prayers!! Wish someone would just come up with a cure already!

Snot Head said...

That really is awful. I don't know what to say or even how to feel. I'm not close to any of them, but it's still unfair to them and their families. I know it makes you crazy, but I hope you won't get too absorbed in it. Yes, it does suck, but keep your faith that they will have comfort. I'm sorry you feel so crappy about everything right now.

Marcia said...

Oh goodness. I'm so sorry! that really bites.

Momma B said...

I am not fully absorbed. I am mad! I don't want to get sucked into some sort of life eating sickness abyss, but I think the timing on this is crap and it really irritates me! Beyond irritating!