Monday, April 27, 2009

I Am Torn!

Right now, I am writing a letter to my brother, in prison, and I just feel torn! I am mostly torn between things like whether or not to drink chai or water, whether or not to go for another slice of pizza, or even whether or not to take a shower before noon, but not today! I know the list sounds pathetic, huh? I guess after telling you how I normally feel I had better have something good, huh? I just feel torn about the way I spend my days, because he does not have a choice as to how he spends his! I feel torn about what I am doing with my life and my time, because he has his life all mapped out before him! I feel torn about not spending enough time with grandma, because he does not get to see her. The ride is too much for her. I feel torn about not going to the cemtery like I should, because he does not get to mourn the loss of loved ones! He can not even show emotion, or creepy people in there might view him as weak. It pisses me off. I feel torn! Damn it!

2 comments:

Snot Head said...

I understand these feelings. I went to the cemetery today and just walked around. I swear the wind was talking to me and guiding me. Grandma and I have been talking a little more now, too, and I really feel strongly about wanting to write this book. I feel very guided to do it. I want to live my life to the fullest for this reason among others.

kekee73 said...

There is a bunch of things that come to mind reading this particular blog. The only thing I feel that I can say without hurting anyone, is if you can use his situation to improve the way you handle time and accomplish more of what helps you sleep at night then do it. Love ya, kekee...